


Ten Thousand Times Before

by kaybohls (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Badass Rey, Batuu, Canon Universe, Dark Side Rey, F/M, Jedi Ben Solo, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Protective Ben Solo, Redeemed Ben Solo, Sith Code, Sith Empire, Sith Holocron, Sith Rey, Smuggler Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:15:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21739711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/kaybohls
Summary: After what should have been the final battle against Darth Sideous, Ben Solo loses Rey to the dark side. Now, he’ll stop at nothing to bring the Jedi from Jakku back to the girl she was - no matter the cost.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 18
Kudos: 37
Collections: The Pink Ladies Love Exchange





	Ten Thousand Times Before

**Author's Note:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/144005946@N02/49196206833/in/dateposted/)
> 
> Thank you [redacted] for the beta and [redacted] for the mood board!

Black Spire Outpost was a place that one used to disappear. Tucked away in a remote edge of the Outer Rim Territories, Batuu was as remote as they came, lost and nearly forgotten to the endless sea of stars in Wild Space when the hyperspace lanes opened. The backwater planet was a haven to fearless travelers seeking an adventure in uncharted space, smugglers, and people who just needed a far-off place to hide. 

Not quite a Jedi, and no longer a darksider, Ben Solo sought refuge on the outskirts of the once-bustling settlement in an effort to hide away from all his mistakes, but most of all - from them.

With his cheek resting against his knuckles, Ben stared down into his glass and slowly swirled in circles, grasping the lip as he watched the golden Corellian whiskey gently slosh against the walls.

He pressed his lips together with a sniff and lifted the glass to his mouth to drain the rest of the liquid before motioning to the barkeep for a refill. Ben knew that he wouldn’t be able to linger in the cantina long, that he’d probably already put himself at risk by leaving the security of his ship, but if he spent another kriffing second alone with Chewie on the Falcon, he was going to go certifiably insane, the risk be damned.

With a quick, grateful nod towards the bat-faced Chadra-Fan bartender as he refilled his glass, Ben ducked his head back down. He was grateful for the thick swirls of smoke to help conceal the face of the former Supreme Leader, but not even the loud thumping of the music the droid DJ, R-3X was playing could drown out the telltale hum of the connection flaring to life. 

Ben held firmly to his glass and didn’t dare turn his head to look at her, knowing that the mere sight of her would turn his stomach with all manner of feelings, but most of all - guilt. He had to hold strong and keep up his mental walls as much as he could to keep her out, only allowing this small sliver of access to her. 

“I was beginning to think that I was finally rid of you.” Ben heard her voice, tainted and twisted into something more sinister than the dulcet way it used to sound.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Highness,” he mumbled dryly into his glass. With a roll of his shoulders, he leaned away from her as he felt her step up beside him, and the connection was burning so brightly, Ben could swear that he could  _ smell  _ her. His hands ached to reach out, take her in his arms, and tell her how sorry he was. He wanted to beg for her forgiveness, fall to his knees and take away everything that he’d done to her, everything she’d become because of him. No matter how badly he wanted, Ben knew that nothing he could do in that moment would bring her back, and he needed to do everything in his power to resist the temptation to follow her. 

“I suppose my master will be pleased that I have made contact with you. This bodes well that we may be able to bring you back where you belong.” 

Ben chuffed out a laugh and felt his shoulders sag, lifting the glass to his lips as he muttered, “This should never have happened.”

“The Force willed it to be so. My master is wise, he’s shown me things you could only dream of. You could see them, too. You could be a part of it all.  _ You don’t have to be alone. _ ”

The seductive sound of her whisper snaked around his soul, squeezing around the light that burned brightly inside him after being dampened by Snoke and the Knights of Ren for so long. Ben wanted to give into it. He wanted so badly to rid himself of that painful, lonely feeling that always seemed to fade away - but it was a lie. 

He felt her push harder against his mental shields and Ben decided he’d had enough. With a slam of his glass against the muted light of the bartop, the former leader of the Knights of Ren snapped his gaze around and met her eyes. The icy feeling of his guilt poured over him like cold rain when he met the once-bright hazel eyes that were now tinged with a golden yellow.

She was still beautiful beyond words, something that was surely amplified by the darkness that fueled her every thought, every movement, and every choice. Dressed from head to toe in black, she was elegant and fierce, with a heavy double-bladed saber hanging at her waist. Her skin was fairer than the golden, Jakku hue he’d known her to have before. He let out a shaky sigh as she stared back at him...still the same person...but not at all Rey.

“It isn’t too late,” he murmured softly, reaching out with his hand to brush his fingers against hers. Rey recoiled in an instant, like his touch scalded her. He could feel her darkness flare through their bond with a snarl as her brows pressed together.

“Too late,” Rey echoed, squaring her shoulders as she stared back at him. “I disagree, Lord Ren. This is who we are meant to be. To live like gods and bend those who would disobey our master to our will. Why else would the Force gift us with these?”

He looked down as she stretched out her hand and summoned a crackle of white hot lightning into her palm. The light flickered back in the eerie yellowed hue of her eyes as the corners of her mouth curled up with an almost childlike sense of wonder.

“This isn’t how it’s meant to be, Rey.”

“You couldn’t be more wrong. The Supreme Leader is wise.”

“No,” Ben argued, even though he knew it was useless, “He’s only using you for your power. When he has what he wanted, he’ll crush you. Search your feelings, you know it’s true.”

Rey was silent for a moment as she stared over his shoulder with her head tilted inquisitively to the side.

“Where are you, Kylo Ren? Tell me so that I may come to fetch you for my master. It would please him greatly to bring together the two halves of the Prime Sith.”

“The Prime Sith is a lie. Can’t you see that he’s using you?” Ben drawled, feeling his shoulders grow heavier by the second, “And it’s none of your business where I am.”

“I hardly think so. You smell like whiskey, so my guess is a backwater cantina. There’s not many places you can hide from me Kylo. Not for long, anyways.”

“That’s not my name anymore, Rey.”

“And that’s not mine.”

“So what am I supposed to call you? Darth Sunshine?”

Rey visibly bristled at his callous joke, maybe her sense of humor was leeched away with the light when the darkness took over. She stood up straighter with a deepening frown and a steadying sigh.

“I am The First Sister, Grand Inquisitor of the First Order, leader of the Knights of Ren,” she stated proudly.

“Well isn’t that swell,” Ben snickered with a swirl of his glass, “That was kind of the Sheev to gift a recycled title upon you. Be careful, or they’ll end up betraying you too.” 

“They won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. I’ve seen it. I’m stronger than you ever were. They  _ bow  _ to their mistress.”

“Their mistress,” Ben echoed again, letting out a long sigh, feeling more hopeless than ever. Maybe this whole thing was a terrible idea.

“Did you only summon me here to argue with me?” Rey snapped with a lift of her chin.

“No,” Ben said softly, wondering to himself how he would manage to make it work. If he could convince her...what were the odds that it would turn out in his favor? If he failed, surely it would mean that he would meet his death at her hands, even if it was well-deserved.

“What is it, then? You’ve kept yourself closed off since that day...why now?”

Ben lifted his gaze to meet hers, and for a split second, he swore he could see the Jedi from Jakku looking back at him. With one glance, a flicker of hope flared to life in his chest. 

Maybe there was a chance.

He slid off his stool and fished his long fingers into his jacket pocket to toss a few credits onto the bar before turning his attention back towards the Sith apprentice.

“I need your help, Rey.”

  
  



End file.
